Keepin' It Real~Part 1~The Explanation

Okay girls. I am inspired. Very much inspired. I'm not sure if its because of my new house, my new blog, or the new items I just received in the mail form Frock-Stock.com today, but whatever the reason, I'm feeling content and happy. My mind is in the right (curious) place. Its that time when I don't have the need to review something or give my opinion. This is one of those amazing moments when I just feel like I can write. When I get to create something such as this blog post, it gives me a reason to stop and listen to my mind and spirit. Its one of those rarer moments that lets me express myself for everyone to read. With my dishes done, my hands clean and smelling like Philosophy's Field of Flowers lotion, my house quiet, and smelling like angel food cake cinnamon apples, (candles lol), its just that perfection when my mind is clear. (In light of my recent ADD diagnosis, I've realized that's why these moments are rare. Haha.) In this moment, I can re-cap and just think and let the thoughts flow on paper, or a computer screen. :p

Getting to this place has taken me years. Years of a harsh world as a single, young mother to realize, I create my destiny, what I live has to be my choice. I am not the lesser than, I am the greater than, and my peace comes from within, not from things. Without getting too sappy I'll just say this; Lets face it, we're all people, people who want to be loved, cared for, and understood. No matter who you are, what you wake up to, whatever the things you see, love or do, I'm positive you put your pants on one leg at a time.

Being a hard working single mother, I have been through some difficult times. Before the time of all responsibility, my life was easy and carefree. I was able to act as curious as I pleased, and I stayed in that state of curiousness. ;) Discovery was one of my greatest assets. With nothing holding me back, I was shooting off into the stars with my world map and computer in hand. Only a short while ago, I wanted to go back to a time when things were easier. (I cannot lie though, sometimes I do still wish things were a little less stressful.) I even tried for years to make my life go back to the way it had been. Even pretending and neglecting responsibilities that were so important at that time.
I still deal with a bit of guilt in regards to that time, but I have to just keep telling myself that I make mistakes, and the best success I'll have as an adult is to take responsibility for my surroundings, myself and my choices.

Please don't misunderstand me. My life was and is full of joy, faith and love. My son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I do not know my life without him. He has changed my life. About 6 years ago, I did however feel held back. I felt guilty, I felt that the whole world was moving and there was so much for me to discover. I could not even comprehend the things I knew and wanted to do and see. In the midst of all that emotion, I decided to create my own unique world around me. I moved away (with my 1 year old of course), went to school, obtained my Bachelors in Nutrition and Culinary, and moved to Napa, California to work as a chef. During that time was a whirlwind of stuff. It would take a lot longer than just this blog post to talk about every wonderful and negative experience I had. Food Network, PBS, Micheal Chiarello, Thomas Keller, just to name drop a little. ;). Great experiences, but I neglected my responsibilities as a mother and to myself.

I always felt guilty. I worked too much. I never had time for my child because I wanted to "live my dream". I didn't always consider the structure that he needed. I learned a lot from those 5 years. Last year I moved closer to my family, away from the bright lights, cameras and fine dining food. My life is more enriched now than its ever been. One wouldn't think so. I mean who wouldn't want to live the lifestyle I did everyday? I proudly say now that my heart is full, and I am constantly finding new amazing things around me to get my hands into.

I am once again venturing out into the unknown, but this time, I'm doing it right. My blog is one of them. My life has balance once again. In an unlikely place.

One cannot control the things, or people around you. You can only change yourself, no matter what the case.

Here is one of my all time favorite quotes. A quote that spoke to me so much when I first heard it. A bit cheesy I know, but it made me realize, there is no going back. Only forward.

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life?
How do you go on?
When in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back.
There are some things that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold."
~Frodo Baggins

My curiousness is what gets me up everyday. If I can leave you with one thing before part 2 (the fun makeup beauty part), it would be this;

Make the world around you everyday to what you want it to be. All things considered. Don't leave anything out. Consider and use all of it. Mold and shape it to what you want. NO matter where you are! You have the power to make your life wonderful and beautiful!
Thanks for reading and happy Discovering! :)
~J
Follow me to read Keepin' It Real~Part 2 on March 13th!! Makeup beauty stuff!! The fun part!

Check out my YouTube channel also!
www.youtube.com/ciaomamabella

Follow me on Twitter!
www.twitter.com/ciaomamastyle